mypropitiation

2008-12-19T10:07:00.002+08:00

It's funny how much you long for something, and when it's just peeking around the corner, suddenly you want it to turn the other way.

or just delay its arrival.

I miss home. I really do. Sometimes it's a dull ache that never ceases to be there. But it's these ten weeks that really taught me to grow emotionally. Not to mention physically as well. Sigh. The english weather makes you hungrier.

Anyways. I'm sitting in my room now contemplating how these past weeks have been so significant. It's quite strange to be stuck in two different worlds and watching them collide. There have been times that I feel like I'm outside looking in at myself and my interactions with people around me. It always amazes me; this capacity of humans to adapt.

Now that I'm leaving for Singapore, I feel a sense of nostalgia. Which is really once again, strange, because I thought I wouldn't miss anything here given how excited I was about going home. Man, I miss my piano. =(

And Bagel. I can't wait to see him.

This sounds stupid. But at least I get to talk to my parents and Manda over Skype. I've tried talking to Bagel over Skype, and learnt that dogs do not believe in technology.

Okay. It's off to read about Thursday Next and her exploits now.

2008-11-17T11:02:00.002+08:00

When the wind blows
Is it angel wings fluttering above
Is every sunrise
A new piece of work you hang up

I want to step over the edge
Because I know you'll catch me when I fall

You're the sun when it rains
You're my ground when the earth shakes
You're the sleeve that I wipe my tears on
You're the hand on my shoulder
You're the strength when my will breaks
I can do anything
Because I know that you love me.

Dip my hands in the rainbow
Teach me how to paint the sky
All the songs that I write
Let me write for you everytime

Because I know that you love me.

2008-11-14T13:13:00.002+08:00

I just went clubbing at Gallery and it's 5.13 am in the morning AND I have a practical at 9.15am! =( I'm so tempted not to go for the practical tomorrow, because I'm going to be completely stoned.

My brain is slightly muddled now, and I'm typing this in JY's room as I'm waiting for him to get back. I seriously hope he's not going to do work because I need to sleep like big time. -.- Nuts. I should've gone back to Fairfax.Now I have to wait for him to come back 'coz i need to open the door for him.

And I'm typing all this to keep myself awake.

Sigh. Never going clubbing on Thursday nights again.

Cheers from York x)

2008-11-05T08:12:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone! I am now at York. Once again, it is high time for me to start penning down my thoughts here so that people who care about me will (hopefully) read this and know how I'm doing. x)

It's been a month since I've set foot on British soil. I have to say it's been quite interesting so far. I've always found it slightly strange that I am the most pensive when I'm taking showers. So anyways. When I was taking my shower just now, I was just struck by how far God has taken me. It's amazing to think that just a year ago I was at VJC, just starting holidays and bumming around wondering what the future held.

It's funny now how I ended up here.

But then again, it's funny how things change so much they come around and smack you really hard. And then you start wondering about how things would have been if you hadn't spoilt it all. Well. 'I' to be more exact. I'm trying to get over it. I really am. But it's the hardest when you're most alone and you just want Someone to be there.

Okay. Enough reminiscing.

Classes started two weeks ago and I honestly expected less work than JC. Unfortunately, this is not happening and I presently find myself swamped with readings and assignments that I am not doing. (WHY CAN'T I SIT DOWN AND DO IT???) The weather is getting absolutely disgusting. You would think there would be a positive correlation with how sunny the day is and how warm it is. But noooo. It's freezing. And wind chill is close to 0 degrees on certain days! 0.0 I will not complain about Singapore weather ever again.

Besides those things, I'm actually doing pretty well. =) I've got good friends and I'm having fun. To set the record straight (because I have been accused), I have NOT been getting drunk and attending wild parties all the time. It just so happens that the pictures taken of me all took place in clubs. Because I don't have a camera.

Oh well. It's back to Piaget's theory of Human cognitive development now. Ciao!

2008-09-03T18:35:00.002+08:00

OH. MY. GOSH. My last blog post was in December 2007. LOl. That has been a total of 9 months of not blogging.

Anyways. I decided to kick start this blog again because in one month and one day's time, I'm going to be in the United Kingdom embarking on the next phase of life.

0.0 scary.

Haha. Yes, it's University of York reading Psychology for me now. I think I'm going to wake up feeling slightly depressed tomorrow because it's officially a month away from the date I fly. (Those who can't figure it out, I'm flying on the 4th of October).

Okay, I shall stop thinking about flying now. Thoughts of going away from home + dreary Wuthering Heights-kind-of-weather = SADNESS. That's not to say, though, that I'm not excited. It's just that three years is quite a long time away from home.

Apart from that, everything's been going pretty well. I mean, my daily schedule cannot get anymore slack and mundane. Here's what it looks like if I don't step out of the house(which I haven't been doing for the past 3 days, thanks to stupid gastric pains/cramps):

0930 - wake up and eat breakfast
1000 - walk bagel (before that record Grey's Anatomy on Starworld)
1030 - clean him, blow him dry with the hairdryer and comb his fur, intermittently scolding him for running around.
1100 - watch Grey's Anatomy
1200 - lunch and ANTM
1300 - mooch around feeling bored and play the piano
1400 - sleep (I know. I'm such a pig)
1600 - mooch around somemore and read
1800 - go run if weather permits, if not it's time to vegetate in front of the tv again
1900 - dinner and family time
2000 - mooch around and try to talk to Manda who is always on her laptop
2200 - Laptop and recording time.
0100 - sleep.

-.- I need to get out.

2007-12-11T14:44:00.000+08:00

yes. a new post. after i adamantly refused to blog.
but then again. i also refused to get facebook.
until bimin refused to send me our prom pictures.
oh well. i am decidedly stuffed now. in the nose that is. i've completely forgotten how painful falling ill is. now my head just hurts from blowing my nose too much and. i sound like a man. not sexy. but i suppose it's my fault. for staying out til 3 am and downing shaker fries with bim and elly. -hack-

so as i sit here on my couch in my painful stupor, trying to follow the latest CSI episode about some rich old lady dying in her apartment, i am typing this entry. life these days has (have? urgh. my grammar's hurting as much as my head) been a complete blur.

so we move from one blur to another.

i really need to get out of the house.
ben. do not act like a pig just flew past your window when you see my new post.

2007-07-02T00:03:00.000+08:00

exams are over. it was a gruelling 4 days i'll give you that. gruelling and tiring. well. this is just another epoch (if you would allow me to say so) in the very short road that leads to you-know-what. saying A levels gives me the creeps.
anyways. God is good. leaving me and forsaking me definitely wasn't an option during this period i hafta say. i was a bit of a mess. haha. kudos to mel for bringing a VERY timely word (just before the econs exam at 7.30 in the morning) from God to STAND FIRM. 2 Chronicles chapter 20 says it all. God really is good. while i'm not exactly extremely optimistic about my exam results, i think i have managed to arrive at a stage whereby leaning and trusting God is paramount, and all other things come second. so yes. i will just trust Him for the best.

And to you: thanks for sticking by me through that period even though my constant whining and crying was probably very unsettling. haha. thanks for the sunflower and the constant calls, which really did help by the way. =)

Today's shopping expedition is decidedly (is there such a word) successful. a good harvest. =) i've never bought 3 pairs of shoes all in one day. yay. and it's NOT, i reiterate, NOT profligate spending. i was in need of those for a REALLY long time.

oh well. am tired. going to bed now.

I see trees of green
Red roses too.
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day the dark sacred night
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
What they're really saying is I love you

I hear babies cry I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
And I think to myself what a wonderful world

- Listen to the Eva Cassidy version. =)

2007-06-13T21:16:00.000+08:00

Things I Learnt From My Dog and his associations Today

1) It is extremely useful to have big brown expressive eyes, especially when used on people with tasty food at hand, or in the event when a mistake is smack-worthy.

2) It is always a wise decision to suck up to the people with the most authority, it guarantees you privileges like a warm bed and an air-conditioned room to sleep in at night.

3) Do not judge an animal by its size, especially when it has whiskers, has sharp claws and is in the midst of an afternoon snoo

2007-05-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today was emerge day 1. =) There were hiccups here and there but overall it was really inspiring and the new worship songs are truly awesome. right now, my mind is kinda going into shut down mode every 5 minutes so i can't relate much of what happened today. just that it's tiring. but great.

and i wore my happy dress. haha.

got to emcee strings tomorrow with kenji. kinda sad that i'm gonna miss emerge day 2. GRAH. oh well. can't back down at the last minute.

am tired. reason why i'm blogging in uncomplete. wait. incomplete sentences. ok goodbye.

2007-05-29T19:15:00.000+08:00

BIG HOUSE - AUDIO ADRENALINE

I don't know where you lay your head
or where you call your home
I don't know where you eat your meals
or where you talk on the phone
I don't know if you got a cook
a butler or a maid
I don't know if you got a yard
with a hammock in the shade

I don't know if you got some shelter
say a place to hide
I don't know if you live with friends
in whom you can confide
I don't know if you got a family
say a mom or dad
I don't know if you feel love at all
but I bet you wish you had

Come and go with me
to my Fathers house
Come and go with me
to my Fathers house

It's a big big house
with lots and lots a room
A big big table
with lots and lots of food
A big big yard
where we can play football
A big big house
Its my Fathers house

All I know is a big ole house
with rooms for everyone
All I know is lots a land
where we can play and run
All I know is you need love
and I've got a family
All I know is your all alone
so why not come with me?

Emerge is coming up! It's gonna be real exciting, so for those who are free on thursday/friday/saturday/sunday, COME FOR IT! =) cya there.

2007-05-24T21:20:00.000+08:00

oh blooey. time sure flies past. today's the last day of school (technically it's tomorrow but it's an open secret that's it's gonna be a full day =) and yea...mid years gonna start soon.

hm. time to discipline myself into studying.

since blogging is rumoured to have a cathartic effect, i shall now attempt to purge my turbulent emotions here.

Emotions really are fickle things. you'll never miss the water til the well runs dry. wonder if i got that right. yea...somehow when you stop getting those calls you take so much for granted, there's a sense of loss. and it's strange how it was so easy to get over it, and then suddenly it boomerangs back 2 months later to hit you hard in the face. and THEN. suddenly. you miss those smiles in school, those silly shoulder taps in the morning, 12 midnight convos, even the fights. ridiculous, but when it's gone you only miss the good things. but then again. i think we're better off on the platonic level.

maybe it's the rachael yamagata tragic mood talking.bleargh.

well. i suppose it gets easier after awhile to shove you to the inner recesses of my mind and pray hard that you'll disappear and stop surfacing to bug me. some days it's easier than others. some days i congratulate myself for the relative success of not thinking about it. and others i just want to curl up in a corner and think with emo music. then again, i'll survive.

take care, i've been hurt before. too much time spent on closing doors.
it'll be just as quiet when i leave, as it was when i first got here. don't expect anything. don't expect anything.

i keep telling myself that. it's gonna work when my heart registers that.

what if i was someone different in your history?

nuts.

i have stuff to thank God for actually. seriously, apart from all that, i honestly think that i am succeeding in finally pulling myself out of that spiritual rut that i've been stuck in the longest time. it's feels good to be back on track. it feels good to know that i'm doing the right thing; i haven't felt so clear about my goals in a long time. and somehow i can feel it in my bones that God's going to do something soon. so everyone be prepared for great and awesome things to come your way! =)

it's funny how the most normal and seemingly inconsequential people in our lives turn out to be ones who inspire us the most. it sounds rather ironic and yes it is. i think God purposely and strategically place these people in my life to help me through everything. so kudos to rainft, liping and sin ae =) you guys are truly inspirational. rainft, you never fail to cheer me up through my bad times and to always lend that listening ear when i need one. you always challenge me when i feel like my passion for God is running dry. thanks! and liping, even though i know you for less than a year, i feel like i've known you for many years :) seriously, i haven't found someone i can click with so readily in a long time. you truly inspire me with your bravery and your honesty. thanks for always being there when i need you. it's a twin thing. haha =) and sin ae, though we dont' talk as much as i'd like to, but you always make me feel so much more peaceful during my stressful periods. thanks for being so considerate and loving towards me. im so glad God put you in A11 :) and YOU roy...thanks for keeping my dirty little secret. haha.

whoa. that was a VERY loooong post. ok. time to catch a movie. ciao!

PS: EMERGE COMING UP!

2007-05-20T21:10:00.000+08:00

i'm back from the mcyc camp. what can i say about it?
well. first of all, i didn't think about how challenging it would be, or how rewarding it would turn out, or all the lessons that i would learnt that can't be picked up in school, and how many amazing people i would meet.

i have to say that the camp has made me a better person; to be more compassionate, to exercise as much patience as i can muster in tough circumstances, and to trust God through it all. And above all, God has taught me to say the right things and do the right things to touch the lives of those kids, and at the end of the camp, i was truly touched to look into some of their eyes and know that they have benefitted from all the encouragement and love that we have showered upon them.

Even though it's just been three short days, i already feel a deep sense of affection for each and everyone of them in my group. it's awfully hard to pen down what i feel for them, but in a nutshell, i can say that i have learnt to love them all, all of them have that special something in them that shines through, those it's harder to find that something in one or another. but i know it's there, and if they'll open their eyes wider and look carefully inside themselves, they'll know that they're so wonderfully unique, they don't have to live up to anybody else's standards. so. tiger(i still dont' know your real name!), talib (who is really adorable), ricky (super strong, haha), shengjie (talented!), mini (wonderfully outspoken haha), sugar (sweet :)), siva (budding actor), sabrina (girl with the wonderful soul, thank you for making this experience special for me.

yup. and the mcyc staff and all the other volunteers are amazing as well. there is so much i can learn from all of them. their patience and unwavering support for all these youth is truly commendable.

to elroy/eleanor/elly/sheebunensky: thanks for being your wonderful crazy self and loving the kids so much. you really made all my days with your quacky sense of humour. i'm glad we got paired up 'coz i got to know you better. =)lol, thanks for accompanying me in the scary girl's toilet.

kaye: hey! kinda sad we didn't get to talk much but anyways, just wanna let you know that i enjoyed this camp immensely and you were there to make it so much better.really happy to see you again! hope we can talk soon.

smellow/mel: hey you.i hope you had as much fun at camp as i did. =) i'll never forget that little contact lens incident we had in the toilet. haha soon you'll have as many anecdotes as i have.

bim: hello! i think you did a wonderful job with the powerpoint, and ben told me that you were really great with the kids as well. i'm glad that we have one more common experience to talk about 10 years down the road.

dessie the loch ness monster: hello! you know i thought you were really queer the first time i met you, but now i think you're a wonderful person, very funny, and i'll always remember your unglam banana picture and your deep, manly, sexy, gay voice.

ben: hey ben! i could see your patience and love for each and everyone of the kids. thanks for being there when i nearly got mowed over. haha...glad you were at the camp.=)u were an inspiration to the kids.

2007-05-17T22:10:00.000+08:00

After that little quote about tripping over rainbows (Anna Maughan) i've decided to go on a quote spree.

We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing. - Satchel Paige

Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong. - Ella Fitzgerald, American singer (b. 1918)

If you could kick the person responsible for most of your troubles, you would not be able to sit down for six months. - Unknown (HAHA)

GOD LIVES BEHIND A HUGE MOUNTAIN CALLED ' I '

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. - Jesus of Nazareth

"The difference between insanity and genius is success." - Jonathan Price, Tomorrow Never Dies

nuts. tired and bored. shall finish packing for mcyc then it's off to the hundred acres woods for a mooch before bed.

2007-05-15T20:43:00.000+08:00

Hm. I went to the physiotherapist today to have my back checked. apparently, sleeping for too long in that position in the library caused my bone to be slightly dislocated (there's this technical term for it which i can't remember). Anyways, apparently, the creaking of my hip bone is due to the way i walk, which according to the guy, is because i don't use enough muscle, and then he started STRUTTING in front of me and all i could think was, 'Do i really walk like that?!' haha. oh well. at least my back is back to normal. yay. i'm able to run and jump around again. no more plodding along at a snail's pace. hooray.

When I see you
My heart starts smiling
I'm tripping over rainbows. =)

what a nice quote.

2007-05-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

It's a choice
to stay
It's a dream
& I wanna wake

You have blood on your hands
and I'm feeling faint
And honey
You can't decide

I'm a drug
Ya don't wanna give up
Smoke your cigarettes
Make your love

You poured blood in my heart
and I can't get enough
I'm drowning, drowning
and you can't decide

It's not about geography, or happenstance
you need to fly, & take a chance
You don't need to soar to emptiness
Float on high, & forever dance alone

Your scared, scared, scared
cuz I feel like home

Hear your voice
Knew right away
If you were here
your eyes would say

There is blood on my feet
as I'm walking away
Rivers are red
Its starting to rain

I'm not gonna live for you
or die for you
Won't do anything anymore for you
Cuz you leave me here on the other side
You leave me here on the other side

Not gonna shed one more tear for you
shed one more tear for you
I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you

At least not til Sunday Afternoon
Sunday Afternoon

Leave or Stay
Leave or Stay

-Rachael Yamagata

2007-05-06T11:03:00.000+08:00

Hey! I decided to post after having read my Message bible this morning. Haha, this version really gives me an incentive to read the bible, with the contemporary translation. It's amusing to read some of the expressions. :)

The Story of Daniel fighting Goliath
- As the Philistine paced back and forth, his shield bearer in front of him, he noticed David. He took one look down on him and sneered - a mere youngster, apple-cheeked and peach-fuzzed. - 1 Samuel 17:41-42 (i totally cracked up with the last line.)

God's for Us
- So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? - Romans 8

Genesis, Heaven and Earth
- First this: God created the Heavens and Earth - all you see, all you don't see. Earth was a soup of nothingness, a bottomless emptiness, an inky blackness. God's Spirit brooded like a bird above the watery abyss. - Genesis 1:1-2

2007-05-05T00:04:00.000+08:00

Haha. time to revive my dead blog. :)

well basically in case you've been wondering why i haven't been posting, it's because my internet always goes wonky on me after awhile. ernest very unceremoniously told me yesterday that my internet sucks. yea. like i need you to tell me that.

anyways. hm. things are pretty good now. except for my back. you know i never thought i'd be saying this EVER but i actually kinda miss running and jumping around. yes i have discovered the joys of running. never again will i stare at manda disdainfully when she puts on those proverbial running shoes to tromp around downstairs on the track. grah. the only exercise i get nowadays is trundling around (more like hobbling actually) with bagel downstairs, with the occasional dash (with my back protesting) when he runs off to say hi to one of his friends.

sleeping in the library and running after that is a deadly combination.

things are going to get exciting this may. haha. going for the MCYC camp with mel, bim, elly and his friend, desmond, and ben song and KAYE. ^.^ yay. i think it'll be a more fulfilling activity, aside from the monotonous stuff. (blearily trudging to school, lessons and more, mooching home exhausted, more work, bed calls.) yup, plus i'm really glad for this opportunity to catch up with kaye and get to know the others better.

oh yes. not to mention manda's pageant activities. it's all been pretty interesting, living with someone in a beauty contest. lots of makeup and fretting over clothes and shoes involved. and the geek. haha. oh well. that's another story for another day. all right. bed calls.

2007-04-02T14:12:00.000+08:00

Test test. yes, i like this blogskin actually. Hmmm. Oh well. At least it looks nice. -smiles- haha. And yes, i changed it for sam. hahaha. just being random. x)

2007-03-19T21:19:00.000+08:00

Thank God it's over. I thought the CTs would never end. well. The March hols have just ended as well. camp was quite fun for the juniors i think...wish last year's camp was as fun as it was this year.

Anyways. School's been pretty surreal. haha it's only been one day but yet somehow things feel kinda unreal. Sometimes i wish things wouldnt' be so competitive and pressurizing. get tired keeping up with everybody sometimes. (haha there should be sin aes around.)and not just in the academic areas. bleargh. but at least the other thing is dealt with so i have one thing less on my mind.

Despite all these...i hafta thank God for bringing me through everything. Yesterday i was doing QT in the longest time and this verse popped up at me.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. - 2 Corinthians 4:8 - 9

I think this is something that we should remember, and we should never have to be driven to despair.

Amen.

On a lighter note. I think i have managed to fall in love with Rachel Yamagata's songs all over again.

1963- Rachel Yamagata
Baby, I'm stuck in the middle, and I don't know why
Find the words you sing to be
Sweeter than the words of the bird in the sky
Oh, the days you came around
I feel so good for me
I can take most anything
Cause what you bring

I find it to be magical
I feel like I'm loving you in 1963
Flowers in my hair
Little bitty hearts upon my cheek
Baby, you'll be on my mind
'Til I kiss you next time

Baby, come on, take a ride in my little blue bug
Keep the windows down
Don't forget to celebrate the radio's up
Oh, the way you hold my hand
There is no other way
We could take a thousand walks
And laugh all day

2007-02-11T13:30:00.000+08:00

F.A.I.T.H - Forsaking All I Trust Him

the world is made of love and trust and pixie dust.

So the O level results came out. i have to say this year's results are pretty outstanding. hm. we're all getting smarter. anyways.
i think we're setting up a band soon. rainft, manda, wee chong, ernest, me. we need a bassist. so yes...if anyone of you knows how to play the bass!.....

back to veggie tales.

Larry:
If my lips said "Adios,
I don't like you, I think you're gross."
That'd be too bad, I might get mad.

haha.

2007-02-07T22:36:00.000+08:00

ok. time for a new post. 'coz it's february. seriously, i miss j1 now...after all the sudden enormity of j2 crashing down. anw. i'm not exactly sure i sound coherent now 'coz i'm super STONED out. speaking of crashing, i need to crash my bed really soon. 0.0
school is school-like with the new addition of stress. and now we hafta share mr harris with the j1s. :P nuts.
i can't think of anything else that is happening now that would be of any interest. my mundane life can't get anymore monotonous. yup. over and out.
cheers.

PS:enqing, if you're reading this, i want the pictures from the OG bbq! the double rainbow remember??

2007-01-14T17:12:00.000+08:00

it's raining outside now. and it gives me this queer ache in the soul. but it's not the emo kinda feeling. it's the thank God i'm alive kinda feeling.
it's strange how last week i was dreading going back to school etc., thinking that i was going to miss a number of people. but then, really, it's quite amazing how adapting to new situations and circumstances is that easy.

anyways. corrinne may really reminds me of MG. on the first day of school, i woke up. then i was searching around for my MG uniform,forgetting that i'm in j2. -.-' i know. so blur. then it hit me with this sudden realization that time really passes by that quickly and how need to sometimes stop to thank God for all He has blessed us with.

Every beat of my heart. it's songs like these that bring across 'common grace'. the awakening of hope that there's something worth living for in this world. that there's hope at all.

2007-01-07T18:18:00.000+08:00

Music Video Code provided by Music Video Zone

Nice song. and i had the hugest crush on Alex Band in sec 1. haha.

Anyways, i know i haven't blogged for a really long time so here goes. school has reopened and i've just gone through 3 days of OGLing. it has been pretty fun and honestly, i don't really look forward to real lessons starting again. 2007 seems like a such a BIG year. A levels and more challenges coming up. but yea, i suppose i'll just have to go through it like everyone else.

2006-12-13T21:51:00.000+08:00

today was fun. we went out for a movie (sf, rainft, ernest, manda, ben, tw and three new friends and i). yea...this is my FIRST cg outing. this year. haha. but it was really fun and it makes me thank God for putting all those people in my life. lol. we had fun dressing the guys up at pull and bear. you can read the sordid details on manda's blog. haha, involving a certain someone's derriere. ^.^
yea well. anyways i bought candy socks from fox. they're actually for kids but i think i should be able to fit them.
yup. i was thinking yesterday and then i realized how important the CG is. i mean, there will be so many who will enter my life and walk out as easily as they came in. but then i have this knowing that no matter what, my friends there will always stick by me even through the bad times (special thanks to rainft and tw and sf and you too:D) i suppose it's 'coz we're all committed to one another.
- if you need to crash, then crash and burn you're not alone. -
it's always nice to know that when you can't hold yourself up anymore there will always be people to lend you a hand til you can stand up again.

ANDREW KHOO. IF YOU'RE READING THIS YOU BETTER CALL ME SOON!!!!!!!!
lol. your big name is splashed across this post now.

yea...found this nice song :) it really touched me deeply 'coz it just reminded me that God's love is always there.

Cry On My Shoulder - Overflow

You say you're falling apart
Reached the end of the line
Just looking for your place in an ordinary life
No one calls you friend
No one even knows your name
You just want to feel loved instead of all the pain
You no longer have to say
No one's listening anyway

Come here and cry on my shoulder
I'll hold you 'til it's over
I'll rescue you tonight
Let my arms be your shelter
Your hiding place forever
I love you more than life

You're wearing a frown
Given up on hope
My heart is reaching out
More then you will ever know
Is your burden too much?
Is it more then you can bear?
I'll help carry the load if you're willing to share
You no longer have to say
No one's listening anyway

Come here and cry on my shoulder
I'll hold you 'til it's over
I'll rescue you tonight
Let my arms be your shelter
Your hiding place forever
I love you more than life

You have had some hard times
Had thorns placed in your side
I know about what you've been going through
The tears of pain are falling down
It hurts so bad you're crying out
Your problems won't last forever
Let me put you back together

Come here and cry on my shoulder
I'll hold you 'til it's over
I'll rescue you tonight
Let my arms be your shelter
Your hiding place forever
I love you
Come here and cry on my shoulder
I'll hold you 'til it's over
I'll rescue you tonight
Let my arms be your shelter
Your hiding place forever
I love you more than life
I love you more than life

2006-11-28T14:27:00.000+08:00

woohoo! two posts in one day. that can only mean something. i really have nothing much to do now. :) work here actually isn't that bad i guess.
so anyways. i shall proceed to try out some alliterations.
fanciful flowers for fountains

crummy crackers
paper promises made of posies (?!)
addling adders acting

drunken dogs go dancing.
forever four - F4(ew)

she sells seashells on the seashore

jokes and jests for jessel(haha!)

rarr. nuts.

2006-11-28T11:04:00.000+08:00

here i am. sitting at my desk. sometimes things get so(for lack of vocabulary) sian that i wonder why i'm practically wasting my life here. but then again, when my emo mood starts kicking in, God comes around and kicks me outta it. I was just reading Julie's blog and when i read the lyrics of 'Surrender', something just went down my spine. and then things get clearer and more refreshing. it's hard to psyche yourself up especially if you're not a morning person. but then, nobody said walking with God was ever easy. it takes perseverance and patience and tons of love and grace. but i thank God that He is always faithful. everything seems a lot easier when you know the Creator of the world is around somewhere near to be your greatest cheerleader.
haha. i feel cheered up already. no need for animal biscuits. :) a year ago, if i were to be in this position, i'd probably throw in the towel and sulk and complain that my time could be better spent doing something else. (probably inane stuff like watching tv and shopping) but after one whole year, with so many things that God has taught me(not in the easiest ways), i've begun to realise the joy of working for the Lord. We don't have to do it just in ministries or in church, but it's just in everything. to know that i'm using my time to sow in the building fund gives me a great sense of satisfaction even though my body is tired and my flesh is weak. so yes, i shall encourage all those out there who are taking jobs or sacrificing for the building fund. God is behind you all the way! don't let your flesh get the better of you and keep doing what is good because in time, we will reap a harvest that is a hundred times greater than what we have sown.

2006-11-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

all right i shall post. going off to KL for 6 days this week. not exactly looking forward to it, but it beats work. haha.
anyways yea...i suppose it's a sacrifice i hafta make and then when things start to get so boring, i remember why i'm doing this and all of a sudden things look up and meaningless work becomes something more worthwhile.
so. i'm really glad ade studies opposite at SMU. :) a friendly face to brighten up my day.lol in my bid to make things seem less sian, i bought baby animal biscuits to cheer myself up. it actually works. haha. tw can vouch.
i have also decided to make use of my kitchen. lol. hasn't been the most successful venture. i made potato salad the other day and when i was eating it, i realized i accidentally mixed some egg shells inside. urgh. haha.
yup service has been good and from this week on i shall make a conscious effort to do QT. sometimes it's so hard to picture how God is like, but then i just tell myself that He's all the good that i see in others and in everything. He's the effort i see when Daddy specially wakes up to send us to school. He's the love i feel when people go the extra mile for me. He's the beauty in the sunrise and the sunset. He's the warmth of the morning sun. He's the humour in comedies. He's the excellence in winners. He's the compassion in us. He's the patience in time. He's the gentleness that a mother holds a baby with. He's the passion that lovers have. He's the faithfulness of patriots. He's the strength of the strongest will. He's the wisdom of the wise. He's the majesty of mountains. and the list goes on.
In short. He's everything that is perfect.
Maybe we care too much about things we shouldn't care about. He somehow makes it so simple. 'Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.' if we follow this, i suppose things would be a lot easier.

2006-11-22T15:35:00.000+08:00

:o) :o) :o)

2006-11-21T21:28:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wish i didn't need to listen or obey. there are so many sacrifices to be made and so many plans involved.
sometimes i wish i didn't come with emotions. then things wouldn't hurt so much.
sometimes i wish i could be more effusive, but i always hold back, because He tells me to.
and there are so many good reasons why.
it's not that i don't care, it's not that i don't see the things you do, it's not that i don't feel anything.
and yea, i feel more than i show, and i'm sorry if i hurt you in any way because i didn't mean to.
and i would never do anything to hurt you if i had a choice. i'm sorry if i didn't make things clear enough, or allow things to progress.
because there's someone more important we both have to follow now.

There you go changing my plans again.
There you go shifting my sands again.
For reasons I don't understand again.
Lately I don't have a clue.
Just when I start liking what I see
There you go changing my scenery
I never know where you're taking me
But I'm trying just to follow you.

It's out of my hands
It's out of my reach
It's over my head
And it's out of my league
There's too many things
That I don't understand
So it's into your will
And it's out of my hands

- Matthew West

2006-11-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

to compensate for the many many days in which i have neglected my blog. i shall post often now. :)

so anyways i bought new shoes today! manda claims they are too cool for me. whatever that means. they are pink and brown with swirly thinglings on them.

i saw a toad downstairs just now when i was walking bagel. only it didn't look like a toad. it looked like a swollen yellow and black balloon with slimy feet. ew. and bagel tried to make friends with it.

k. enough about the mundane going-ons in my life.

today i was thinking. it's really funny how God makes your life turn out. i mean i dont' even hang with the friends that i was close to at the beginning of the year. 'cept for mel and bimin.
maybe it's kinda his way of filtering our lives out. i guess it is disappointing to realize that people whom you thought you knew actually aren't that way. they were just using you for something. but then again, i dont' really blame them. i mean, even though it sounds despicable, everyone of us uses people to a certain extent. it's just human nature. i dont' think many of us start out with that kind of malicious intent, it's just 'coz we're not perfect, there's always a bit of selfishness and pride in everyone of us.
real friends are hard to find. they are the ones whom we can trust. they are the ones who make us feel so comfortable we dont' have to put up masks to hide who we truly are. they are the ones who muster up the courage to tell us when we're wrong, even if it means hurting us, because it's only right. and then we'll turn around and thank them afterwards. they are the ones who care enough to sacrifice and to accept us for who we are, not for what we can give them.
hope i'll find more in the future. oh well. back to adam bede. happy holidays everyone. :)

nuts. cant wait for christmas.

2006-11-07T23:52:00.000+08:00

have you ever been through periods where you just go through the days with your eyes shut? then one day some realization hits you right smack from the back, shocking you and temporarily paralysing your senses and nearly all intellectual capabilities?
so i was just minding my own business trying to fill in this job application form. then i was going to scan in my 'O' level results. THEN. i realized that it wasn't in this nice pink folder which i keep my certs in. i was like 'OH MY MOTHER FISH AND CROCODILE AND STARS!!!' x 10000. then the house erupted into chaos 'coz i thought i lost the darn thing. at that point in time, as i was miserably griping to kaye, i totally felt like lindsay lohan in 'just my luck' after she kissed that guy. ew. kaye kindly informed me that i am not lindsay lohan and that my life is not governed by coincidental forces such as 'luck' and that i should stop being so drama and get a grip.
anyways. the crux of the story is. i haven't collected the cert yet. my blurness is going to cost me dearly someday. i hope this inherent flaw isn't going to cause me any physical or neurological damage in the future. 0.0 urgh.

fishbits.

oh well. otherwise. no other exciting things have been happening. maybe apart from my first sighting of the plecos. which i thought were fascinatingly ugly. haha.

the O and A levels have started. i'm just kinda thankful now that i'm in the in-between period. the year passed so fast. oh yea. pw. haha. i'm so glad to see the back of it. yayee.

2006-10-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

i finally properly understood what words of life are today.

it really does make a whole lot of difference what you say to someone.

for every disparaging remark you make to someone, it requires ten more positive remarks to heal that wound.

the power of life or death is in the tongue.
i mean. this isn't even just a biblical principal, it's evident in everyday life.

when the situation you are in is just so dire, and there seems to be so little hope, when the odds are stacked so high, and you feel so abandoned and alone, there's only one person you can turn to.

deep calling unto the deep. wow.

sometimes, it just takes so much for God to teach us something. because we're so blind. maybe failure is God's way of telling us that we're off the right track, and to nudge us back into that perfect plan that He has for us. For His ways and thoughts are always higher than ours.

2006-10-22T17:48:00.000+08:00

i found another outlet for stress relief.
i bought the COMPLETE and UNABRIDGED collection of winnie-the-pooh books. :) and this little miss and little men treasury. you know...i suspect i might have a peter pan complex.
but anyways. yes. winnie-the-pooh is really relaxing to read because it doesn't require you to think much while you're completely absorbed in to pooh's world, where animals with disorders talk and live in houses. yea eeyore's kinda neurotic and i think rabbit has OCD. piglet is virtually frightened of the world (countless phobias) and tigger has ADHD. the only ones who are normal are probably kanga and roo. but then again i suppose you can't call talking animals normal right?
i still adore them though.

here are two excerpts:
here's pooh trying to deceive some bees by pretending to be a thunder cloud.

He thought for a moment and said: 'I shall try to look like a small black cloud. That will deceive them.'
'Then you had better have the blue balloon.' you (Christopher Robin) said; and so it was decided.

a few moments later....

'Christopher Robin!'
'Yes?'
'Have you an umbrella in your house?'
'I think so.'
'I wish you would bring it out here, and walk up and down with it, and look up at me every now and then, and say "Tut-tut, it looks like rain." I think, if you did that, it would help the deception which we are practising on these bees.'
Well, you (Christopher Robin) laughed to yourself, 'Silly old Bear!' but you didn't say it aloud because you were so fond of him, and you went home for your umbrella.

haha. A.A Milne is brilliant.

2006-10-15T20:58:00.000+08:00

I find a door inside and it's as if I hear a humming from behind it, and then I get inside somehow, with the key the old ones give me, and are, and as I stumble about in the darkness of the room, I begin to feel the stirring in myself, the humming of the room, and my heart starts to expand with the absolute feeling of bravery, or love, or audacity, or commitment. It becomes a light, and the light enters me, by osmosis, and a part of me that was not clear before is clarified. I radiate this expanded light. Happiness.

And that, was called 'being in love'.

- The Temple of My Familiar- Alice Walker.

I actually kinda like this book. Even though there are some bits which are rather difficult to read. But yea, there beneath all the hard stuff, there's really beautiful words you can find. That's the wonderful thing about good writing. :)
I can't believe I took a 6 hour nap. And i still feel tired.
hm. i've got another 2 books to devour which i will set out to do right after i finish this post. then it's a trip to the library again.

2006-10-09T20:28:00.000+08:00

nuts. sorry kaye. i forgot to blog about study group outing.
ANYWAYS. yes it was REALLY REALLY fun. :) 'coz i spent the morning watching liu xing hua yuan and giggling madly with kaye and kristi. that was on friday. haha yea...it brought back good memories from like primary 6 or something. lol. so yes. then we proceeded to our usual spot at btp. like exactly a year ago we were mugging for O levels and screaming at dean to stop being annoying and patiently explaining math to jummies and getting help from clement for ss and getting help from mike for science. ^.^ it was fun. and gushing over baby socks in the children's department and gossiping about the creepy weird old man in the corner.
ok back to the story. so the uncle at the yong tau foo stall actually recognizes us. haha. and he still remembers what we normally eat so we dont' really hafta place our orders.
OMG. i just visited kristi's blog. KRISTI NG you better take those pictures OFF. good grief. we were just having a serious discussion la.
haha. but yes it was fun. i miss the study group a heck lot. and jummies is ALWAYS MIA. -.-'' so is mikey. but he's in australia so he's excused i guess.

yup. ok today was fun too. had lunch with jules at holland v and we just basically had fun being girls. i bought a pair of earrings ^.^ and she gushed over bagel and he just basked in the glory of being cute (fluffy, big eyes...the whole works). yes.

2006-10-08T18:49:00.000+08:00

exams are finally over. strangely enough, i dont' get this overwhelming sense of euphoria and mad relief. somehow, life has lost a little meaning.
don't get me wrong. i'm crazy over the fact i dont' hafta pore through my econs notes anymore. and yea, brain rot is a pretty good substitute for brain drain memorizing stuff which i probably won't need after 2 years. i've basically been letting the tv programmes do the thinking for me and lolling around reading time magazine about some drunk guy who climbed into the panda enclosure to give this panda a hug, then got bitten and tried to bite the panda back. the weird things you read about nowadays (eschewing the petty issues running global politics today). but that was an older issue.
oh well. i'm playing tuition teacher to manda for a month. it's not exactly the first thing i would indulge in right after weeks of studying. but yea. i suppose, it's all right for a good and noble cause. i'm not being sarcastic here.
ok i shall now tell you about yesterday's proceedings. i went out with EQ. it was quite fun. haha we had lunch at pastamani, then we mooched around for a bit at far east, laughing and making fun of the seriously strange ensemble of clothes you see on mannequins. and then, lol, we went to toys 'r us. honestly, enqing is the only guy i know who'll willingly agree to go to look at toys with me. after that, we then proceeded to catch aunty mi's fashion show. and her new bridal collection is pretty impressive. oh yea. then someone asked aunty mi about the young couple standing next to her (EQ and i) and if we were going to get married. -.-' wow. i didnt' know i looked THAT old. normally people think that i'm like. 12 or something. and i didn't know i looked like im attached.
yup. so that's all the exciting things that happened yesterday. in a nutshell. i am looking forward to going out with jules tomorrow. yay. time calls for a long awaited trip to holland v. think i shall pop by the pet shop and get bagel something :D.

Touch can mean distance to some people
Touch can mean prison or be like a cage
I always thought that life could be more simple
Specially in this day and age

Touch can mean distance to some people
Touch can mean I own you forever and a day
If only life could be more simple
Specially in this day and age

But touch can be a blessing to other people
Touch can bring blossom to things that decay
I think life should be that simple
Specially in this day and age
- Mary Black

2006-09-25T10:51:00.000+08:00

You are my father
I am your child
will you hold me in your arms-just a little while
and let me know how much you care for me
there's no other place in this world
That I'd rather be
and when I fall down on my knees and pray
my heart is captured
when I hear you say

come with me my child to the secret place
I love you, I love you, I love you,
come and find your rest in the secret place
I love you, I love you, I love you,

- Rachel Lampa, Secret Place

just remember that God's only a heartbeat away.

haha. purple gradient. random.

2006-09-24T20:01:00.000+08:00

ok. time for a new post. haven't posted in such a long time.
well. basically everything's been about the same. just going through the same monotonous routine everyday, with major rectification to my studying hours thanks to promos. nuts.
and yes. there has been some scuffle going on among us (this is intentionally vague) . since you don't comprehend the enormity of the situation and hence, choose to blow it up because you think it's due to some petty matter, please kindly refrain from shooting your mouth off on your blog and causing unneeded anxiety to a particular someone. by extension, i suggest you grow up and not take everything at face value, because, having lived on this earth for approximately 17 years, you should have realized by now that many things are really not as simple as they look most of the time. so. to save you from unnecessary embarrassment once the truth unfolds (which it will in due time), i strongly encourage you to take your nose out of other people's business and stick it into your studies, as they need IMMEDIATE attention. thanks.
on a brighter note. i think pastor kong did a great job on the marriage seminar. lol. it's like stepping into a movie. i mean. you never quite see so much romance between married couples. lol. it's really quite adorable to see them singing to each other on that enormous screen for the whole world to see. and speaking of romance, it's kinda unreal to see my parents so loving. i mean, they are loving towards each other, BUT SOOOO loving. i guess it's good. :)
this has caused me to reinvent my limited view on God's power. it has surreptitiously crept into our lives and honestly, things haven't been the same at home since this marriage seminar. wow. and i didn't realize it until yesterday. so now i'm sitting in my chair. in awe of God's amazing grace and my total lack of awareness of my surroundings. i'm so blur.
but anyways. all the lovey-dovey stuff has to come to an end. starting from next week onwards, it's building fund. time to sink our teeth in meat.
k. gonna go read some econs now. goodness, it was so boring it sent me into a 3 hour nap. sigh.

2006-09-10T18:21:00.000+08:00

i'm tired.

after printing how many pages of notes.

Building fund's coming up. time to cut back on spending. actually, i kinda miss our old building at jurong. a lotta people talked about why we spent so much money on that building, it's the gate of heaven. it's a form of praising God. The world gets the best of everything. that should be used for the house of God too. Why should the church settle for second best? After all, in the bible (especially in the old testament) the house of God was always magnificently built, befitting of a king. and our God is the King of kings. He deserves the best i say. But then, of course, it won't do to have a nice building and our spiritual lives are in tatters. so. that's why our motto is to build a church with a strong spiritual atmosphere of faith and purity, where each member is released into ministry and discipled in the great commandment to obey the great commission.

we should strive for excellence in everything we undertake and to be relevant and contemporary in today's society.

yay. time to see God move in our lives.

2006-09-08T14:17:00.000+08:00

ARGH. i so didn't know that song was going to be on. it's driving me nuts. so annoying. and i can't seem to get rid of it.
-.-'
imagine my surprise when i'm blasting this Tigger song on the com, then i go visit my blog and read the tag board and everyone's talking about the song (not the Tigger one, the annoying one on my blog). and i'm like 'huh?, what are they talking about...'. then i turn off the Tigger song (much to Manda's relief) and i'm invited to irritating strains of 'Jesus Loves Me This I Know.' Urgh. I like the song and all, but i do not enjoy the 'thumping of the piano' version.

fishsticks.

ok time to get out of this catatonic stupor and back to history. more truman and stalin and their petty little fights. when i read my notes, it kinda reminded me of the fights i used to have with Manda. The name-calling and the sulks. haha.

In the Korean War , after North Korea invaded South Korea with USSR's support...
'The UN Security council convened to discuss the crisis and voted to intervene in Korea (with American forces leading the way). Unfortunately for the Communists, the USSR was absent from that session because it was protesting against the refusal of the UN to recognise the PRC." haha.

In Cuba, after the USSR to withdraw the missiles...
"In Havana, Fidel Castro, who had not been consulted over the missile's withdrawal, flew into a rage. He cursed Khrushchev as a 'son of a bitch, bastard and asshole.' and refused to see the Soviet ambassador."

LOL. mel and i flew into hysterics after reading those. whoever said history was boring. haha. all those who dont' take history, eat your heart out.

2006-09-07T16:07:00.000+08:00

Yay! new blogskin. kudos to manda :) thanks.
yup. kaye and jemma came over yesterday and we had fun catching up. jemma spent a great deal of her time amusing herself by hurling stuff at me. that was kinda un-fun. haha. kaye's still the same though. :)

today's a lazy day. listening to diana krall now. and i think i shall spend the rest of the day in bliss reading harry potter, even though i fully know i'm supposed to be poring through my market structure notes. oh well. one day won't hurt i suppose.

oh yes. and thanks for the song. i thought it was nice.

ok i'm feeling really lethargic now. so i shall end here.

2006-09-05T12:21:00.000+08:00

The Wunderful Thing About Tiggers

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are wonderful things
Their tops are made out of rubber
Their bottoms are made out of springs

They’re bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy
Fun, fun, fun, fun, FUN!
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is I’m the only one

:) this is such an adorable song.

nuts. i've got a skeeter bite on my nose. -sniff-

so. i'm sitting at my desk now, listening to disney songs (When She Loved Me - Toy Story now) and Manda's constant rants about logarithms and my dad frantically calling his friend to ask how Skype works. and of course, typing this.
mundane things. and the previous weeks have been about the same. the only critical bit of exciting event that has happened all week was when dad caught this spindly-looking leaf-like insect. it was huge and kinda cute in an ugly way.
oh well. on the bright side, i have finally settled down to studying. quite proud of myself. -pat pat- lol.
OH YEA! kaye and jemma are coming over tomorrow. yay. :) it's kinda nice to see your old friends again, even though they're still as psychotic as ever. jemma called me two nights ago informing (in hysterics) me that she and kaye were hopping on the first plane off to India to further their education in medicine. she said all this in fits of laughter and a pseudo Indian accent. and all the while, kaye was singing ,'i'm leaving on a jet plane' in the background with all the lyrics wrong. lol. i miss mg.
sorry mel...i hafta abandon you. you make the best use of the time studying tomorrow :D you can call me and rant and rave to me tomorrow. :)
all right. this post has been sufficiently long. goodbye.

2006-08-28T21:54:00.000+08:00

boo. wait. let's try that again. BOO!
lol. this fatigue is making my brain work a little strangely. but i must keep awake for the sake of house!
haven't updated in a long time. so here goes.
i was blissfully happy til Saturday night when i received that sms. it's kinda sad to know that someone you care about is facing problems in his life. guess I might not be able to relate to it now at this point in time, but it has taught me how to treasure those around me more.
and yes. i guess i will be sad when all the year 2s are gone. especially when some of them are so important to me. even those who aren't in vj. sigh. i never thought i'd admit this but i am gonna miss derek when he trundles off for army. haha. just gonna keep on keeping them in my prayers. all the best for prelims!
ok. time for house. :) catch you all later.

2006-08-21T21:49:00.000+08:00

last week was fun :)
we had a blast at fish and co after church. thanks nat, rainft, lianne, manda and derek.
yea...well. we shall not go into the sordid details but i think derek and i got a little high after drinking that tequila drink. LOL. and it was all surreal...that birthday rap. goodness...so embarrassing. yes and the highlight of the evening was the cherry incident, you can read about the dramatic event on mandy's blog. i'm sure she'll post it up soon :) yes and the pictures as well. haha. but at least i'm 10 bucks richer. haha. oh yea! kudos to rainft for the sunflowers. they really made my day. yup and derek for the moonflower perfume :) :) and your delicate package. HAHA.
and ben. thanks for your present. i really like the fat little seal. haha and i think the shot glass and stars are very pretty. yup.
anyways. met up with charm and darren and ernest on friday. kinda missed all of them. yes. even ernest. weird how things turn out all right after 3 years. haha. God has a funny way of patching and mending friendships. charm is still the same...thank goodness. missed her loads. haha darren is growing up. he's like the little brother i never had. love him to bits. lol. i hope he never reads this. he'll freak out. yea and i can't put my finger on it. but ernest does look physically different and it doesn't have anything to do with his contacts of his lack of braces. it's something else. oh well.
that's all for now. so many blessings to last me the rest of the year. God is good. :)

2006-08-15T16:19:00.000+08:00

i wish i could say sorry. but it's too late and such a strange thing to voice out.
i wish nothing has changed. but change is the only constant in life.
i wish emotions weren't so fickled. no excuse i guess.
i wish you knew how much it hurt me to hurt you.
i wish you knew how much i didn't want to.
but i had to.
because.
it would hurt more later.

then again. nowadays i wonder if i've made the right choice.

I guess you're the only one,
that nobody changes
I guess you're the only one left standing
when everything else goes down
you're still the only one
who will never change faces
I guess you're the only one left standing
when everything else goes down

sigh. what an angsty day. this is what a 3 hour lit essay does to you.

2006-08-13T10:53:00.000+08:00

what a sleepy day.
i feel like hibernating for today. unfortunately, i can't do that because this would only prove to myself that i am sorely lacking in discipline.
so anyways. happy birthday nat! :) sorry i couldn't spend your birthday with you, but yes. expect your present soon.
just wanna encourage those whose exams are coming up soon. i know it's a really tough period and all of you are kinda stressed out. ok that's an understatement. just look at derek. haha. but don't worry! have faith that this storm will pass and God will be there to give you grace to go through it and you will all emerge victorious! :) all the best!
argh. i MUST exercise self-control and not devour all those books i bought yesterday at the book fair. speaking of that, it was a mad house. i nearly got trampled on yesterday and rolled over by those carts. not to mention i saw singaporeans at their worst---blatantly displaying their inherent kiasu nature. urgh. anyhow, i am quite content with the six books i bought, all for $12! yay.
ok time to hit the books.

2006-08-09T11:59:00.000+08:00

one polka-dotted hairband+ hooped earrings+star earrings+fox shirt = happiness :)

(all in a span of 1/2 hour)

those who are depressed out there, i highly recommend retail therapy.

on a more solemn note, kaye, manda and i went to miss goh's wake yesterday. it was kinda sad to know that we didn't get a chance to say goodbye. but we were all glad that she got saved before she left. she was one of the most unforgettable teachers i ever had. reason probably stems from her being a great chemistry teacher (my grades fell from an A to a B after she stopped teaching, no thanks to mrs sim :p) and the scariest one.

2006-08-07T22:27:00.000+08:00

how is it that people can use the same mouth to praise God and to say such appalling things?
what does it mean exactly to pick up your cross and to follow Him?
how can people claim to love Jesus and yet not honour Him?

wish it was christmas.

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow
And mistletoe
And presents 'neath the tree

Christmas eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams

2006-08-03T22:38:00.000+08:00

i feel like jet setting to disney land.
listening to disney songs kinda remind me of morning cookies and milk
and travelling in fairy tales to where dreams actually come true.
i'm so going on a disney movie marathon. haha.
crabsticks. i haven't done cookie's homework. bleargh.

Belle: There must be more than this provincial life!
Gaston: Just watch, I'm going to make Belle my wife!
Townsfolk: Look there she goes
The girl is strange but special
A most peculiar mad'moiselle!
Women: It's a pity and a sin
Men: She doesn't quite fit in
Townsfolk: 'Cause she really is a funny girl
A beauty but a funny girl
She really is a funny girl
That Belle!

2006-07-31T23:10:00.000+08:00

Saturday was awesome.
Old revelation but it was a reminder that God is mighty to save.
haha allusion to mandy's blog. :)
k. time for bed and dreams about crispy, psycho, lil mel, pumblechook and assorted fish.
good night.
tomorrow will be a better day.
by faith.
heh. blooey. snowflakes and crystals.

If my God is for me, who can be against me.

2006-07-24T21:22:00.000+08:00

whee. founder's day tomorrow. study group tomorrow. old friends. good memories. not so good memories. :)
being a 10 year MG girl really does set you apart from others. i suppose it's the way we've been brought up over there. dont' know how manda can hate that place. but i guess staying there for 10 years does get boring.
oh well. throat's getting scratchier as the days go by and i've got a MASSIVE headache. but otherwise. everything's peachy. and no, i'm not being sarcastic. :)
lol. isn't it strange how you can wind up not talking to a person for like three years and then just suddenly make up and everything's fine again. hm. three years ago i thought i'd never ever speak a word to him again. and now we're meeting on monday. HAHA. too hilarious.
and i can't believe evan said that about derek. haha...i'll never look at derek the same way again. sorry.
hey tw! hope you're feeling a lot a lot a lot better. :D take care and dont' fret! things will turn out ok. just hang in there. cya on friday.

2006-07-21T12:02:00.000+08:00

*cough*. sick. haha. think i caught it from my dad. which is why i'm blogging at 12 pm.

anyways.

the other day i was just mooching around in school waiting for mel to get outta chinese class when one of my classmates passed by and asked if i was ok. well yea. i was in an 'ok' mood, though i suppose i looked rather tired and grumpy. so i gave her this puzzled look. then she told me that i always look so sad.

hm. that got me thinking.

you know, maybe i felt that being uhappy was normal because i've been experiencing that for so long. but then. i mean. why should i be sad? why should i be bogged down with things that God has already promised to take care of for me? and besides what would be the difference between me and those not saved if i can't even rejoice in the day my God has made. i believe in all the promises that He has made for me. And so i shouldn't needlessly worry about my life or what I AM going to do about it. i dont' dictate my life anyways.

it isn't a good testimony to walk around looking so forlorn.

so yes. i have come to a decision that i shall be happy.
isn't it strange how things suddenly hit you? like you never have heart knowledge about the simplest things because you just go on blindly in life, so intent on unimportant things.
i don't have a reason to be upset or unhappy.

Shine for You
Look across the world
And let us shine for you, Lord
The whole world is yours
And I want to live for you

One thing I know
Is that you've changed my life
I give you my all
All you are is good
Give you my heart
God it's only you I seek
Give you my praise
'Cause I believe in you

Look across the world
And let us shine for you, Lord
The whole world is yours
And I want to live for you, O God

All that I know
Is that you've changed my life
I give you my all
And all you are is good
Carry the lost
Make my prayer in this life real
Carry my cross
Hold on 'til I see you

Look across the world
And let us shine for you, Lord
The whole world is yours
And I want to live for you, O God

And I want to live
I want to love you more
I want to be used
Father in all of the world
May your word be heard
May it stay on my lips
To live what I speak
Until your kingdom come

2006-07-19T20:13:00.000+08:00

hey hey! shall start this post with God's promises since i promised TW some. hope this encourages you!

God said:
We will be the head and not the tail
Above and not beneath
Always in front and never behind
Blessed in our coming in and going forth
We are not to worry, for He will fight for us
He will show Himself strong on our behalf
If He is for us, who can be against us?
If He willingly gave his only begotten Son, what more will he not give to us?
He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we can ask for.
He will rescue those who love Him
He will be with them in times of trouble.
He protects the bones of the righteous; not one of them is broken.

Amen. :)

Well. After venting all that angst i feel a lot better. Tomorrow will be a brighter day.

Nuts. I have this urge to buy bright pink ribbons and tie them on pretty blue pastel boxes.
Folding multi-coloured stars and placing them in a glass jar.
Watch shooting stars.
Cover the house with flower petals.
Bake cookies with coloured M&Ms.
Paint my room in pink, gold and blue. :p
Hibernate for a day.

Sigh. i can dream, can't i.

When I Dream
I could have a mansion that is higher than the trees
I could have all the gifts I want and never ask please
I could fly to Paris, oh, it's at my beck and call
Why do I go through life with nothing at all?
But when I dream, I dream of you
Maybe someday you will come true

2006-07-17T21:11:00.000+08:00

is everything gone just like that? is it my fault? i don't really understand. i don't know if it's just me being paranoid but i can't help but feel they're all giving me the cold shoulder.
sigh.
i didn't want this to happen either. so yea.
crabsticks.
wish we could all just be good friends. like before. then things wouldn't have gotten like that.

2006-07-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry.

if it hurts for you.

it hurts me to hurt you.

2006-07-12T18:02:00.000+08:00

nuts nuts nuts. boring. han loong it's all your fault. i caught this from you :p

argh. i'm alone at home with bagel. manda's off at aunty michelle's getting a dress. sheesh. wonder what the big fuss is with founder's day. it's just a really expensive dinner with bad food.

sigh. i'm such a sentimental fool. listening to faith hill now. lol.

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be

'Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength
And I wanna thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me, you were right there for me
You were right there for me for always
-Faith Hill.

2006-07-11T17:22:00.000+08:00

do not consume tiramisu in the morning.

it kills your stomach.

on that happy note, i shall start my post. nothing much is happening now. OH! miracles do happen. i found my jotterbook after FOUR months. thanks to guojie :). life is quite peaceful now haha. but then again, change is the only constant in life, so i shall expect more things to come and disturb my peaceful status quo.

was watching sweet home alabama the other day.

i was so rooting for the other guy. he was ten times more suave and charming anyways. Mel preferred Jake. Guess she likes the more barbaric kind. haha. i'll bet he was wearing blue contact lenses...nobody can have eyes like that. it should be a sin.

ARGH. a walk to remember was so sweet. even though mandy moore's acting completely and utterly sucks in that movie, yea, the plot and the storyline was nice. at least shane west can act. as if such things happen in real life anyways.

ok i shall stop being so cynical.

oh well. the world seems strangely quiet and subdued now that world cup fever is over. haha. the guys in school seem all zonked out. lol. goodness. some people even walk around looking depressed because france didn't win. speaking of france, after hearing about the legendary zidane, i guess i should really watch some of the matches he played. haha. it's like a travesty not to watch him or something.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. but the greatest of these is love.
- Jesus.

2006-07-09T10:24:00.000+08:00

Eight8's over. for all my complaining about LOOONG rehearsals and freezing fingers, i really do miss them. haha. Had much fun and i think it was a great opportunity to get to know many of the PE members a bit more. Will miss all the crazy times Weishan, Enqing, Sihan, Barney, Darren, Christine, Althea and I had. Albeit it being such a creepy piece, i hafta say that i kinda like 'Dance of the Adolescent' :)
Oh yes. Thanks guys for coming to support me (HL, Evan, Kaye, Mel, CHRISTINE, Ben, Yuting, Lydia etc) . And thanks for the flowers too!They're in this jug on the table now. Looking at them makes me feel happier :D.
nuts. now gotta prepare for vivace.
CHRISTINE LIM. i was so glad to see you!!!!!! please. no more surprises next time. haha.
Well. the cell group has multiplied. but somehow it still feels the same during service. that's a good thing :) but i still didn't see some of the young adults. :( but service was quite powerful haha. Dr Robb Thomson came to preach. Gosh, but what he had to deliver was profound. Guess friends do play a major role in determining who you are in the future.
All right. Gotta go do the roster and catch up on undone homework. ciao!

2006-07-04T21:58:00.000+08:00

your love is amazing
steady and unchanging
your love is a mountain
firm beneath my feet

your love is a mystery
how you gently lift me
when i am surrounded
your love carries me.

life has been busy. there are so many things going on and it just takes you on the rollarcoaster ride. it's exciting, but we must always stop to remember the really important things in life.
piano concert is only a few days away. haha. i think i've grown to appreciate 'dance of the adolescent' for all it's quirky melody and rhythm.
i've learnt a few things in the past few weeks. it almost seems as if God multiplied the time to enable me to grow so much.

i think i'm ready to take up my cross.

taking up the cross involves so many sacrifices. it hurts no doubt. but once i took it up i felt this sense of peace. so yea. i know this has to be right. it's not in line with what i want...but i know it's probably for the greater good. so i'm willing to put everything aside to follow Him. after all. He was the one who brought me here.
i think sometimes i care too much about what others think. but in retrospect...they didn't die for me. they didn't sacrifice all they had for me. they don't promise me everlasting love and they don't promise me eternal life.

faith is a substance of things hoped for.

we all need it.

2006-07-02T12:47:00.000+08:00

I will bless the Lord forever
I'll bless your holy name.
HELLO! i'm kinda tired of being angsty and depressed. so yea. yesterday put everything into a bigger perspective for me.
Sometimes when you stray and you feel so weary, then you wonder where God is. But he's there. He has always been here. you were just looking in the wrong direction.
Yesterday was much needed anointing and refreshing. Don't ask me why i got a nosebleed in the middle of the service. Shaofeng said the anointing was too strong. LOL. Actually it was pretty amusing. I was crying then i started laughing when I got a nosebleed. Thanks Nat! You were a great help, with the water and the tissue. HAHA. Yea but ANYWAYS. yesterday was one of the most awesome services I ever went for because I finally met God face to face. It's times like that when I know life would have no more meaning if He ever were to abandon me.

ANDREW KHOO! haha. yes i'm really glad you're back!!! It was fun meeting up with you that day and seeing what you have done with yourself. Well done with the hair. Really suits your skin tone. lol. Argh. We hafta meet up again before you leave ok?!? that seems quite impossible because i'm gonna be busy. :(

MIKEY! lol. you do look different. yea...nice hair. you look a bit like Shaggy from Scooby Doo in retrospect. HAHA. but yea. it was awesome seeing you back! Bet the weather here is terrible compared to Australia. Nuts. We need a study group outing. lol. Hope you've managed to contact the rest. :)

CHRISTINE LIM! ARGH. i'm so sad we can't meet up tomorrow! stupid rehearsals. :( hope you've been well. lol. was talking to en qing the other day and he told me you haven't changed since like P4. haha. well done. Hope you've been enjoying yourself in Singapore so far. Miss you A LOT. take care of yourself!! have you been intimidating the guys Down Under? :p

2006-06-29T20:41:00.000+08:00

Thank you, God, for :
1) Bringing me through my exams
2) Being there
3) Blessing me with great friends
4) Helping me through the hurts
5) The scholarship! :)
6) A family, albeit an imperfect one.

Yup. This week was the first round of exams in jc. well. can't say the papers were great. but. i just trust everything to God to make things all right.

I haven't experienced much but i know one of the most painful things in life is caring too much for a person. And having the person not reciprocating hurts. so i'm sorry to people whom i've unintentionally hurt.
cuts like a knife.
just a dream

I will be watching over every beat of your heart

pain cripples for awhile but God will always heal.

yup. so i'll just wait till it goes away.

I can be free
I can be free from this place
Beautiful Healer
Beautiful Grace
Help me to see
Everything fall into place
Wake me from dreaming
No more deceiving
Break these chains

oh scab it.

SEEING RED

2006-06-23T19:42:00.000+08:00

10 things not to do when you become a parent of a teenager
1) Exert your authority over your teenager by asking him/her to do stupid things like turn off their handphones by 11.
2) Get disturbingly angry when he/she does not follow the ridiculous rules that you set because the rules don't make sense.
3) Use profanities on your child.
4) Expect your child to do what you ask them to when you don't even do it yourself.
5) Treat him/her like he/she is 7.
6) Ask rhetorical questions and expect him/her to answer them.
7) Get mad when he/she refuses to answer your asinine question.
8) Confiscate his/her handphone then return it to them 2 hours later.
9) Scoff at his/her apology.
10) Expect him/her to be perfect.

IN SHORT. GIVE HIM/HER SOME SPACE.

Note To Self

2006-06-14T21:37:00.000+08:00

Dear Sam,
Kindly start taking out your notes which you have painstakingly filed and, in vernacular, START MUGGING. You have exactly one week, four days and a couple more hours before your EXAMS begin. I reiterate. START STUDYING/ hitting the books. For your H3's sake, please do.
With regards to other events that have been taking place, I implore you pay no heed to them for the time being. Things aren't going to miraculously happen just because you constantly think about them. And at the same time, try not to look at your sister in complete disgust because she's listening to a song void of morals. And restrain yourself from starting a song war with her in the same room.
In addition, it would be wise of you to consider how you can further improve your financial situation. One way would be to not impulsively splurge money on silly things like a notebook costing twenty-three dollars. Try also not to be tempted to purchase that moonflower scent you spotted at Bodyshop today. Remember 1 Corinthians 10:13! 'No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.' Amen.
Last but not least, you should stop reading those bimbo books, unless you want to, I quote Mel, 'lower your IQ before your mid years'. That means no more books a la Bergdorf Blondes.
It would be greatly appreciated if you take the advice.

Love,
Self.

Rarr. ok. point taken. on a brighter note though, i HAVE started on math. so that's a good sign. :) nuts. i can't believe i lost SY's umbrella. argh. i am
SO sorry. how utterly careless of me. hm. i could've sworn i remember ben taking it. but then. i'm such a scatterbrain i can't even trust my own memory. Sorry!!!

Ok. Time to hit the books.

2006-06-11T18:22:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning.
And i realised I wouldn't be seeing you soon.
There was this funny pang in my heart.
I was surprised and i couldn't figure out why.
Then i realised.

I'm going to miss you.

It's raining outside now.

Perfectly describes how I feel.

Guess you never know what you truly have until you start missing it. Then you start thinking back on all the times you spent together. It's times like these when you just want to throw away everything else that caused the confusion. When you realise all you want is that one. Or do you? Emotions are terribly puzzling things.

Sigh. Come back soon.

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
-Switchfoot

2006-06-09T20:08:00.000+08:00

we were all in love and we all got hurt.

HELLO EVERYONE! yes i am feeling a lot better now. feel safer now anyways. you know how it is when you feel safer around certain people? yup, i've found that group.

and i'm never letting them go.

argh. gotta start studying now. haven't been doing much of that. rarr. nuts. i'm so far behind maths i can't even see the back of it. well. time to get cracking.

whee....looking out of the window on long bus rides really get me thinking. love loooong bus rides. haha. well. today as i was cruising along nicoll highway in 196, was just thinking about the past few months and all that has been happening. i think God meant that time for both of Him and me. i admit we haven't been spending that much time together so it's time to go back to myself. He kinda told me that i need to refocus my life. there are so many things that are screaming out for my attention. BUT. he showed me the most important things in life. God, school, family and friends. lol. actually this post sounds really familiar because i blogged about this a little while back. hm. God must really be trying to tell me something. guess i was too dense and stubborn to listen.

i need to learn to let go. maybe i've been too selfish. i can't hold on things that aren't meant for me.

but sometimes it's just so hard.

RARR.

LORD LET YOUR WILL BE DONE.

Those Words are Not Enough - Reliant K

Feelings, inside my head
I don't know, but I'm thinking about you
Understand coz it's so hard to tell you,
cause you already know
You already know
When it's twice as hard to realize
That I'm still trying twice as hard to satisfy
myself on my own
And I'm still waiting for things to change

I lay my life before you, and I'm not getting up
Father, how I adore you
Those words are not enough

Feelings, inside my head
I don't know, but I'm thinking about you
Understand coz it's so hard to tell you, coz you already know
Father, know I love you, and know I am wrong
Lord, please take my life
Make me your son
Make me your son

I lay my life before you, and I'm not getting up
Father, how I adore you
Those words are not enough

When it's twice as hard to realize
That I'm still trying twice as hard to satisfy myself on my own
And I'm still waiting for things to change

I lay my life before you, and I'm not getting up
Father, how I adore you
Those words are not enough

2006-06-06T21:45:00.000+08:00

there was a girl who went through life and rarely went through unexpected things.
then there was this boy.
(well. she didn't notice him. until. she found out.)
they sorta like each other now.
BUT. she's so confused. because there's someone else. and she doesn't know how to choose now. she'll hate to hurt someone. especially him. not only that, this person appears to be taking her as a substitute. which hurts. a lot.
she hopes that he'll continue to hang on. because she doesn't know what to do. and she's quite afraid to do anything.

my soul will dance with you

2006-06-05T22:02:00.000+08:00

Emerge just passed. it was brilliant...Pastor Kong gave us a really good message. hm...kinda wish i was going to church again. it was awesome because it's been so long since i really felt the presence of God, and it was much needed refreshing. i guess God wanted to tell me a lot. one of which was how i've been focusing on all the wrong things. 'Seek first his kingdom and all his righteousness shall be added unto you' - Matthew 6:33

i guess it's time to get my priorities right.

That aside, emceeing for Strings was quite fun. haha...yea, spent a lot of time goofing around with Vans, doing the script and all. yes, i'm gonna spell your name with an 's'. lol. city hall area is really pretty at night...must go there to take pictures sometime.

To the person i unknowingly hurt. i'm sorry. i didn't know or trust you enough not to believe what other people said. so yea. if i've caused you to feel sad i'm sorry. this is quite silly actually, because you probably wouldn't know i'm addressing you. but. just in case you do...i'm sorry. i wasn't trying to play with your feelings or anything and well, i do miss you as a friend. it's been a long time since we've properly spoken.

urgh. so many things to sort out. God, please give me wisdom to deal with this. how to choose? i dont' know.

'Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.' - Joshua 1: 9

Amen.

BIG PLANS

2006-05-27T11:58:00.000+08:00

You know i was just thinking yesterday. There's so many things going around that sometimes people don't stop to think. We get so caught up in the little details in life we don't stop to ponder. We don't stop to make someone's day. A simple word and a nice smile can make anyone's day. :) oh well. I'm just glad to be back home here. Funny how there are so many additional restrictions but it all boils down to feeling at home again. I woke up this morning and somehow everything seems better. There's no place like home. lol. hm. green is starting to appeal to me.

I WANT TO

frolick in the meadows in australia

watch the stars at night

catch the sunrise and sunset with a friend

fold enough hearts and stars to fill a big bottle

master the language of love

go jet setting around the world

find that special someone

make the world a better place

make someone's day

buy enough shoes to fill a room :)

2006-05-22T20:32:00.000+08:00

thanks for the chocolates and the stars :) it meant a lot.
so anyways. today was just tiring. who knew cheering could be so exhaustive. :x lol.
yea. on top of tt. i found out something today. which DEPRAVED person would treat the feelings of someone else so lightly? i mean honestly, unfaithfulness is never gonna get you anywhere. i'm not mad at him, just disappointed at his infidelity. the poor girl who's dating him now...
oh well. relationships aren't meant to be treated lightly. it's something serious. which really makes me wonder how people can plunge into it without considering the possible consequences.
hm. yup. all rite time to go finish typing out my literature essay. wilfred owen is a brilliant poet...depraved as he may be.

Everytime You Cry

2006-05-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

Don't feel much like posting 2nite. need to start on lit soon so aniwaez. just a short summary on what happened today. went out with the two Js, Ben, TW, manda, simon, clara and shaofeng. got insulted a lot and got called cabbage in the process (?!?!). watched the DVC, which is kinda overrated. but i think the reviews did it justice, it fell flat on its face. lol. yea, just downloaded this song 'Everything You Cry'. Feel so much happier now that i've listened to it. :) yup we must have more CG outings nxt time!

Never before have I seen you look so blue
Can't find the cure and nothing comforts you
The light at the end of the tunnel
Doesn't shine at the end of the day
Every time you cry
Save up all your tears, I will be your rainbow
When they disappear
Wash away the pain 'til you smile again
I will be the laughter in your eyes
Every time you cry
Every time you cry
Time has a way of wounding what has healed
What can I say, I know just how you feel
Your soul is dark and troubled
Like a river running wild
Every time you cry
Save up all your tears, I will be your rainbow
When they disappear
Wash away the pain 'til you smile again
I will be the one who dries your eyes
Every time you cry
Every time you cry
Well you know that's what I'm here for
And I will give you when you need more
There'll be no hesitation, I will reap no reward

2006-05-18T20:54:00.000+08:00

argh. i'm sitting in my room now trying not to think of that harrowing experience i faced yesterday. nicholas tan wei quan, if u ever do that to me again, i will personally twist you into a pretzel and feed you to the birds. SO THERE.
whee. this colour is pretty. anyways, on a brighter note, tomorrow sch lets out early. YAY. think i shall go down to mel's house to study. lol. if chris ever knew he'll totally freak out, going on his little tirade about studying's bad for health or something along the lines of that.
hm. everything at home is fine and peachy now. THANK GOD. yup. guess the sun still shines through the storm. :) Romans 8 reminds of God's gr8 love, it's comforting to know there's always someone ard to watch your back and someone to make sure everything turns out all right.

For i am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love.
Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries for tomorrow -- not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below -- indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39

Fingerprints of God

2006-05-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

This week has been pretty eventful. not in good sense though, but i'm sorta glad the week is over. time to rest and ponder over stuff. things aren't so peachy at home but i have faith that it will get better :)
looking back there are so many instances when i can see God's fingerprints in my life. i suppose He didn't take me to VJC for nothing. so yea...i just gotta make the best use of my time here. Even though circumstances are so different but then it's been good fun. haha.
oh yes. once again. thanks mel! for all the advice and the support through everything. on him. and to sheue ying, chris, chengwei, ben, julie and bimin thanks for being so understanding and putting up with me even though i was completely down e other day. oh and derek! thanx for lending me the book. Boy Meets Girl. its really enlightening and it lends a whole new perspective on how God views relationships. weich! go read the book! haha. basically, the bottom line is not to get into a relationship til you are positive your relationship with God matters more than anything else. which i suppose, is true.
RARR. ok this post has taken me more than an hour to write. lol. i shall end off here and adjourn 2 my room soon. better slp soon or i'll b totally zombified 2mr.

2006-05-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

do i feel hurt? yes. but then again. it's a strange feeling. humans are too complicated sometimes. it's realli frustrating when u don't understand your emotions. mel's right. thanks for being there. :) i owe you.
but i suppose through it all it's gonna get better. i mean. i learnt something from all of this. even though it's a rather quirky experience. God will pull me through. it is comforting to know that there is always SOMEONE there you can run to.

' "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honour him." ' - Psalm 91:14-15

GENESIS

2006-04-28T18:31:00.000+08:00

at long last. after so many years...a blog! i wonder wat drew would say. :p derek said blogging has a cathartic effect. i shall find out. lol.
oh well. this wk has been pretty interesting. a lotta stuff has been happening over e past few wks actually. went back 2 mg, which i have missed so much! yup yup...drama nite is on in like an hours time..so it's back 2 mg i go. vj is so different...it's like another chapter in my life.
hm. oh yes some shout outs. weich! relax ok? i noe uve been pretty stressed these past few wks but don't ever forget that God's grace is sufficient 2 pull us through. and manda..thanks in advance for beautifying my blog. haha. oh yes and mel! thanx for hearing me out (all my complaints and rants) yea...when's our nxt outing! haha.
yeeaa...tt's all for now. gotta go makan then go back 2 mg.